3 biker jokes

Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74
when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge.
So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers,
past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
“Hey Baby…..whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”

She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”

While he didn’t want to appear “sensitive,” George also didn’t want to
miss this “be-a-legend” opportunity either so he asked …
“Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe…why don’t you give ole George here your best last kiss?”

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing
and did just that … and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval
from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

“Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey!
That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts.
You could be famous if you rode with me.
Why the hell are you committing suicide?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

~

A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, turns to her and asks,

“Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?”
“NO!” says the little girl as she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,
“Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back.”
“NO!” says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,
“Okay kid, my last offer! I’ll give you 20 Bucks “and” a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride.”
Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out…
“Look Dad” “You’re the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley …YOU RIDE IT!!”

~

A little old lady wants to join a local biker club !
• A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club. One day she goes up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers.
• She proclaims, “I want to join your club.”
• The guy was amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join.
• The biker asks: “Do you have a motorcycle?”
• The little old lady replies: “Yep… my bike’s parked over there”, and points to a Harley in the driveway.
• The biker asks: “Do you drink?”
• The little old lady replies: “Yep… drink like a fish. I’ll drink any man in your club under the table.”
• The biker asks: “Do you smoke?”
• The lady replies: “Yep… smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes a day. I’m shooting pool.”
• Very impressed the biker asks: “Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”
• The old lady thinks for a minute and says: Nope, … but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times.”

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I am a husband, father, grandfather, friend, business owner, traveller, Harley rider, citizen, patriot, gun owner, politically eclectic person of strange personal habits. I support police, trust no politicians, and can argue any side of an argument just to amuse myself. People love me or hate me and those that are in-between don't know me.


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