I even got a plague for riding 23014 miles since April 1. I was #2 in the milage department, following on the guy with the orange beard, Dizzy Jake. He and I have put on more than a few miles together and I’m sure we’ll do the same in 2018. Dizzy rode 29000+ miles. Next year I hope to be #1.
Ethel checked into a Motel on her 65th birthday; she was lonely, a little depressed at her advancing age and so decided to risk an adventure. She thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages.”
She looked through the phone book, found a full-page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony, a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all t he right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six-pack abs. She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I’ll give him a call…
“Good evening, ma’am, how may I help you?”
Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, “I hear you give a great massage. I’d like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go at it all night… tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I’m ready!
Now how does that sound?”
He said, “That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.”
I am a husband, father, grandfather, friend, business owner, traveller, Harley rider, citizen, patriot, gun owner, politically eclectic person of strange personal habits. I support police, trust no politicians, and can argue any side of an argument just to amuse myself. People love me or hate me and those that are in-between don't know me.