The New Husband Store

A New Husbands store has opened in Toronto, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

On hearing of the store, a woman goes into the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love children.

‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more,’ so she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love children, and are extremely good looking.

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love children, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love children, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

NOTE:

In order to avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Book Report

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, ‘Titanic’ and ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report .
  • * Titanic: Cost – $29.99
  • * Clinton : Cost – $29.99
  • * Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
  • * Clinton : Over 3 hours to read
  • * Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
  • * Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
  • * Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
  • * Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.
  • * Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
  • * Clinton : Ditto for Bill
  • * Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
  • * Clinton : Ditto for Monica.
  • * Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
  • * Clinton : Let’s not go there.
  • * Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
  • * Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.
  • * Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
  • * Clinton : Clinton doesn’t remember anything..
  • * Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
  • * Clinton : Monica.. Ooh, let’s not go there, either.
  • * Titanic : Jack surrenders to an icy death.
  • * Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary – basically the same thing.