A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot…

The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness…  Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay… you will walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we could not find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on…

“You have $9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. It will work great, but ‘it won’t come cheap!’… it’s roughly $1,000 an inch!”

The man perks up.

“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want, but… I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife… If you had a five-inched before and get a nine-incher now, she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine-incher before and you decide to only invest in a five-incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”

“Yes I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you make a decision?”

“Yes” says the man.”

“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.

“We’re getting granite counter tops!”

httpv://youtu.be/8JNFr_j6kdI

I just returned from outside and I smell rain, I feel humidity, and there’s a possibility that it may rain.

My thought is; Do I leave this to fate and hope we get rain or do I take out my motorcycle and guarantee rain?

Don’t they usually contain rain?

Brother Paul is in Germany right now.  Since he’s stated that he never reads this, I’ll forgo wishing him a great trip.

ML almost choked to death on her breakfast this morning. Nina saved her this time. The last two times I did.

I want to ride.

Peace

I sat through this 2 hour meeting, mostly in stony silence. Since we’re mostly in agreement, my thoughts are stated by others and I’m fine with it. I cracked on non-profit joke early on and it was well received by all the business people on the committee and caused minor confusion to the government and non-profit people.

Near the end of the meeting a question of advertising arose and it caused quite a bit of discussion. Nothing was being settled by this talk, so I raised my hand and was recognized by the chair. I made a 2 sentence statement and all was settled. Everyone was in agreement after I made the obvious point. I think they just like to hear themselves talk sometimes.

I hate long meetings. 1 hour is more than enough.

Erin

Erin left yesterday with Belle. I see a definite change in her when they (the other family) is in her presence. She stops listening and gets all bossy with everyone. It’s a complete 180° flip of personality . I feel this is not a good thing.

Weather

We had a cold and very windy day yesterday. Wind chills were very noticeable. It tried its damnedest to snow but failed miserably.  The weatherliar chick is predicting rain for tomorrow and Sunday.

Why is the rest of this country having violent storms and the SW states are dryer than dust? I would love seeing a violent thunderstorm pass through here. 5 feet of snow? Bring it on!

Marylou

She’s on an increased dose of her mood altering medicine. I sorta feel sorry for her now, she’s very manageable, but maintains a confused look about her. She doesn’t read now and is almost silent. If she doesn’t adapt soon, I may ask Nina to lower that dosage a little at a time to give her some quality of life again.

Other Shit

I’m tired of hearing about the latest Alb. P.D. shooting. I see the cops getting thrown under the bus with this case too. It happened to another cop just recently. Once again, social media and mob action is directing public officials actions.

Nina and I are doing a night out tonight. Dinner and maybe other stuff before we head home. She needs a break.

Why don’t our soldiers carry sidearms at all times? They’re trained better than any other citizen and yet they’re powerless when the shit hits the fan on base. Other country’s soldiers are always armed, why not ours? Policy about guns in this country is asinine! We provide guns to uneducated, drug using rebels all over the world, but honest, educated, and trained citizens in this country have to worry about keeping our guns.

“You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.” Audrey Hepburn

Let me see if I have this right…

Ukraine buys almost all its energy (natural gas) from Russia. Revenues from natural gas sales are a primary source of income for Russia.

Because of the recent disagreement between Ukraine and Russia, Russia is raising the price of natural gas it sells to Ukraine.

Ukraine is almost broke and can’t afford the increase in the natural gas price because it would be forced into bankruptcy.

Obama,(the USA) just announced the United States is giving Ukraine $1 billion to assist in paying for the higher priced natural gas it buys from Russia.

So, the United States is actually giving Russia $1 billion because the money is just passing through Ukraine.

The first question: Has Putin figured out a way to raise the price of his natural gas sales and make the U.S. pay for the increase?

Next question: Was he really in the KGB or was he a commodities trader?

If this analysis is accurate, Putin just got Obama (the USA) to pay him $1 billion by holding a press conference and trucking some troops across town from the Russian Navy base in Ukraine.

Who is the smartest guy in the room now?

Perhaps it’s not “Obama!”