All posts by Glen

Just a former garbageman living in New Mexico selling crap to tourists and locals alike.

Norwegian Math Test . . .

A Norwegian Math Test — This only works for those in Minnna soda, Nort DaKoda, or Viskonsin dont cha know! Verks 4 me.

Ole, a Norwegian fella wants a job, but the foreman doesn’t want to hire him, so he says he won’t hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. ‘Without using numbers, represent the number 9.’

‘Witout numbers?’ The Norwegian says, ‘Dat’s easy.’ and proceeds to draw three trees.

ATT00031

What’s this?’ the boss asks.

Vot! You got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,’ says the Norwegian.

‘Fair enough,’ says the boss. ‘Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but this time represent
the number 99.’

The Norwegian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. ‘Dar ya go!’

ATT00028
The boss scratches his head and says, ‘How on earth do you get that to represent 99?’

‘You must be from Iowa.  Each of Da trees is dirty now. So, it’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.’

The boss is getting worried that he’s going to actually have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, ‘All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.’

The Norwegian fella stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, ‘Dar ya go! Von hundred!’

ATT00034

The boss looks at the attempt. ‘You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!’

The Norwegian winces and shakes his head. UFF-DAH! you must be a Finlander from Iowa; he leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, ‘A little dog come along and pooped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, and dat makes von hundred!!
So, ven do I start.

The 3 Stooges

  • As I sit here and type this I am watching  the 3 Stooges.
  • I am wondering why I enjoyed this show in the past.
  • I’ll keep watching as I finish this post.
  • I’m not sure if I mentioned this earlier here, and I’m too lazy to go back and check, but our June trip to the Netherlands is now a September trip to London and the Netherlands. We’ll do a week in each place with London’s Heathrow Airport as our arrival and departure point.
  • We plan on staying in Leewaurden the entire time in the Holland. Since the country is so small, we can easily drive to any place we need to go for the day.
  • Yes, I’m going to rent a car for this trip. The better to explore with in my mind.
  • Still not getting my past attraction to the Stooges.
  • Tomorrow is Erinday again. I like having her here. I think for fun I may try to get Will to sign off on a passport for Erin.
  • If this flies, maybe I’ll use air miles to take her to London. That should crank their asses.
  • I changed the channel finally. Couldn’t take it. Wasted youth.
  • I’m now watching How It’s Made. Always an interesting watch.
  • Still have to book the last hotel for our September trip. We’ve got the first London hotel booked, the Holiday Inn Express~Camden Locks. This was picked for the location over the hotel amenities.
  • In Leewaurden we’re staying at the hotel across from the train station, the same one we spent a night at years ago.
  • Nina’s picking the last hotel. She gave me a list to check out today. We’ll see what she chose.
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree.

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS – HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye.

It reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS – HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – 10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.
Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS – HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – 5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.

On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell.

The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,
‘What may we do for you! my son?’
He answers, ‘I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business.’
‘Very well my son. Please follow me.’

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.

The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, ‘Please knock on this door.’

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door.This nun instructs,

‘Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.’
He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.
The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER…

Our Summer Ad

We’re going to advertise in the area tourism rag this year and see if there’s any benefit for us in doing so. This guide will distribute 40,000 copies all through the state and if needed they will do a second printing. Our ad is 7.25″ X 2″ and I hope to have it positioned on the page opposite of the City/County ad.  I think that I have the clout to see that happen.

LVF-ADClick on the picture to see the full size if you’re interested. I sent this out to the publishers and now I wait until they let me know what they think.

 

R.I.P. Mr. Johnson

Family & friends are mourning the loss of Edward Johnson Sr. who passed this morning at 7:45. I too mourn his passing. He was like a second father to me in many ways.

Failing health that was caused by a medication mix up a few years back that started the decline.

He and Dad shared a birthday.

Mr. J. you will be missed.

A recap of yesterday and other shit about the current day.

  1. Well, lunch was nice. Dennis and I rode into town together and we got there early so we could give the appearance of Joe being late.
  2. Joe was actually early, but we put on a superior air to make it look like he was late.
  3. Great discussions were had and world peace is just one more lunch away. We may stretch it to 2 lunches just so there’s an actual reason for us to meet.
  4. I learned things about the Sunshine Station property yesterday too. Pete has taken it back and Jack has some problems ahead of him. Pete always takes things back!
  5. I got a letter from my doctor’s office yesterday. My doctor is leaving the group he’s with and I’m not happy about this.
  6. I get to see him personally next week and complain. Glad I made this appointment. I need some scripts renewed soon so I’ll press him for getting new ones that last longer and offer 3 month refills.
  7. Tell me, do you like these numbers on this list or do your prefer the dots? Doesn’t matter really, just curious.
  8. Jeannie got here early this morning. I better tell her not to leave early. That shit don’t fly.
  9. I’m taking Nina’s car in for service today. Just the greasy oil thing. Nothing else. I hate waiting for work that is not simple.
  10. I need to get my tractor in for service. The battery is not charging and its developed an oil leak. This puppy is getting old. I believe it was made in the 60’s.
  11. Not quite as old as me.
  12. Marc Golin, my salesman, wants to take me to lunch today. That may or may not happen. If he’s with customers when Nina’s car is done, I’m gone.
  13. On the Wrangler Forum I’m on, I read a topic about poor customer service at their dealership. I get great service at Lithia in Santa Fe, but this guy’s complaint and actions were asinine. His big complaint was that they drilled license plate holes in his front bumper in a state where front plates are required.
  14. Anyone buying a Chrysler, Dodge or Jeep product, go to Lithia and ask for Marc. Mention my name.
  15. There’s another marketing meeting this afternoon in Las Vegas. I don’t want to go. I may see if Patrick can sit in for me. He’s there most times anyway. Patrick is the jail warden. Nice guy.

The above picture was posted to FB by my brother and I thought it was some funny shit so I posted it here too