I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.
\nThis FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
\n“You’re kinda cute. You gotta phone number?”
\nI said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?”
\nShe said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.
\nI said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”
\nCost me 6 stitches but when you\u2019re almost eighty…who cares?
\n**********<\/p>\n
Cowboy: “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”
\nLady Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
\nCowboy: “Nah. She’s purty good lookin’.”
\nWhen you\u2019re almost eighty…who cares?
\n***********<\/p>\n
I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night.
\nShe said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut,
\nYou’d look all right.\u201d
\nI said, \u201cIf I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.\u201d
\nCost me a fat lip but, when you\u2019re almost eighty…who cares?
\n**********<\/p>\n
I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman
\nWas born just by feeling her breasts.
\n“Really” she said, “Go on then. Try.”
\nAfter about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said,
\n“Come on, what day was I born?”
\nI said, “Yesterday.”
\nCost me a kick in the nuts, but when you\u2019re almost eighty…who cares?
\n***********<\/p>\n
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
\nThe lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
\nCost me a bloody nose. But when you\u2019re almost eighty who cares?
\n***********<\/p>\n
I went to the pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
\nI said, “Good legs.”
\nThe girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”
\nI said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”
\nCost me 6 more stitches. But when you\u2019re almost eighty…who cares?
\n***********<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kinda cute. You gotta phone number?” I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?” She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”. I said, “You better get back in it before the … Continue reading When you are almost 80…Who Cares?<\/span>