Illinois: The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.<\/p>\n
A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.<\/p>\n
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi”
\nand then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.<\/p>\n
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and
\nbills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.<\/p>\n
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
\nState $200 testing it for diseases.<\/p>\n
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $350.00 getting checked for
\ndiseases from the coyote and getting his bite wound bandaged.<\/p>\n
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
\nconducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.<\/p>\n
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote
\nawareness program” for residents of the area.<\/p>\n
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
\nrabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.<\/p>\n
8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.
\nThe State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional
\nspecial training re: the nature of coyotes.<\/p>\n
9. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit
\nagainst the State.<\/p>\n
Texas :<\/p>\n
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.<\/p>\n
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow
\npoint cartridge.<\/p>\n
2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.<\/p>\n
And that, my friends, is why Illinois is broke and Texas is not.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Illinois: The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor. 1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. 2. … Continue reading Illinois vs. Texas<\/span>