I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
\nThis FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kinda cute You gotta phone number?”
\nI said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?”
\nShe said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.
\nI said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”
\nCost me 6 stitches..but,
\nWhen you\u2019re over seventy…………..who cares?
\n**********
\nI went to the drug store and told the clerk “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”
\nLady Clerk: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?\u201d;
\nI said “Nah… She’s purty good lookin’…..”
\nWhen you\u2019re over seventy…………..who cares?
\n***********
\nI was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
\nShe said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.\u201d;
\nI said, \u201cIf I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.\u201d;
\nCost me a fat lip, but…
\nWhen you\u2019re over seventy…………..who cares?
\n**********
\nI was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
\n“Really” she said, “Go on then… try.”
\nAfter about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?”
\nI said, “Yesterday.”
\nCost me a kick in the nuts, but…
\nWhen you\u2019re over seventy……………who cares?
\n*********
\nI got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
\nThe lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
\nWhen you\u2019re over seventy……………who cares?
\n**********
\nI went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
\nI said, “Good legs.”
\nThe girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”
\nI said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”
\nCost me 6 more stitches, but..
\nWhen you\u2019re over seventy…………..who cares?<\/p>\n
“Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not years, and remember we do not quit playing because we grow old…. we grow old because we quit playing”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kinda cute You gotta phone number?” I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?” She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”. I said, “You better get back in … Continue reading When you’re over seventy…………..who cares?<\/span>