{"id":8355,"date":"2015-04-28T06:57:10","date_gmt":"2015-04-28T12:57:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/?p=8355"},"modified":"2015-04-28T06:57:10","modified_gmt":"2015-04-28T12:57:10","slug":"ouch-bad-puns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/?p=8355","title":{"rendered":"Ouch! Bad Puns."},"content":{"rendered":"

1.<\/strong>\u00a0Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn\u2019t much, but the reception was excellent.<\/p>\n

2<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u00a0A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, \u201cI\u2019ll serve You, but don\u2019t start anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

3.<\/strong>\u00a0Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.<\/p>\n

4.<\/strong>\u00a0A dyslexic man walks into a bra<\/p>\n

5.<\/strong>\u00a0A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: \u201cA beer please, and one for the road.\u201d<\/p>\n

6.<\/strong>\u00a0Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: \u201cDoes this taste funny to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

7.<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cDoc, I can\u2019t stop singing \u2018The Green, Green Grass of Home.\u2019\u201d \u201cThat sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.\u201d \u201cIs it common?\u201d Well, \u201cIt\u2019s Not Unusual.\u201d<\/p>\n

8.<\/strong>\u00a0Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, \u201cI was artificially inseminated this morning.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t believe you,\u201d says Dolly. \u201cIt\u2019s true, no bull!\u201d exclaims Daisy.<\/p>\n

9.<\/strong>\u00a0An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.<\/p>\n

10.<\/strong>\u00a0Deja Moo: The feeling that you\u2019ve heard this bull before.<\/p>\n

11.<\/strong>\u00a0I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn\u2019t find any.<\/p>\n

12.<\/strong>\u00a0A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can\u2019t feel my legs!\u201d The doctor replied, \u201cI know you can\u2019t I\u2019ve cut off your arms!\u201d<\/p>\n

13.<\/strong>\u00a0I went to a seafood disco last week\u2026 and pulled a mussel.<\/p>\n

14.<\/strong>\u00a0What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.<\/p>\n

15.<\/strong>\u00a0Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says Dam!\u201d<\/p>\n

16.<\/strong>\u00a0Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can\u2019t have your kayak and heat it too.<\/p>\n

17.<\/strong>\u00a0A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. \u201cBut why,\u201d they asked, as they moved off. \u201cBecause,\u201d he said, \u201cI can\u2019t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.\u201d<\/p>\n

18.<\/strong>\u00a0A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named \u201cAhmal.\u201d The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him \u201cJuan.\u201d Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, \u201cThey\u2019re twins! If you\u2019ve seen Juan, you\u2019ve seen Ahmal.\u201d<\/p>\n

19.<\/strong>\u00a0Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it\u2019s good. . .) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.<\/p>\n

20.<\/strong>\u00a0And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n

21.<\/strong>\u00a0Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1.\u00a0Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn\u2019t much, but the reception was excellent. 2.\u00a0A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, \u201cI\u2019ll serve You, but don\u2019t start anything.\u201d 3.\u00a0Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4.\u00a0A dyslexic man walks into a … Continue reading Ouch! Bad Puns.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8355"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8355"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8355\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8356,"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8355\/revisions\/8356"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-glen-blog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}