THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK (got this from mom!)

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.


He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.


Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.


“I’ve got to get this guy!” coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”

The coach brought him to the States and taught him the great game of football. And the Bears went on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man was hailed as the great hero of football and when the coach asked him what he wanted, all the young man wanted was to call his mother.

“Mom,” he yelled into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” the old woman yelled back. “You are
not my son!”

“I don’t think you understand, Mother. I’ve just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

“No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorted. “At this very moment there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady paused and then tearfully cried,

“I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”