Peaches

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a
door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer
negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her
the peaches and asked, “Would you like to buy some peaches?”
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, “Are they
as firm as this?”
He nodded his head and said, “Yes ma’am,” and a little tear ran from his eye.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, “Are they
nice and pink like this?”
The farmer said, “Yes,” and another tear came from the other eye.
Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, “Are they as
fuzzy as this?”
He again said, “Yes,” and broke down crying.
She asked, “Why on earth are you crying?”
Drying his eyes he replied, “The drought got my corn, the flood
got my soybeans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think
I’m gonna get fucked out of my peaches.”

I am a husband, father, grandfather, friend, business owner, traveller, Harley rider, citizen, patriot, gun owner, politically eclectic person of strange personal habits. I support police, trust no politicians, and can argue any side of an argument just to amuse myself. People love me or hate me and those that are in-between don't know me.