Category Archives: B.S. & Political Ridicule

WINDOWS vs. FORDS

Windows vs Ford For all of us who feel only the deepest love  and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives,  read on :- At a recent computer expo .

(COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

“If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash………twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3… Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the ro ad, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4…. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5….. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6…… The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.

7……. The airbag system would ask,”Are you sure?” before deploying.

8…….. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9……… Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10………. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

PS – I’d like to add that when all else fails, you could call “customer service” in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!

Good day.

  • Rode to SF for a meeting on the HOG chapter. Left here at 50° and no wind to cross the pass to wind and a 10° drop in temperature. Glad I dressed for it.
  • Great meeting, but holy shit was it long! Two and a half hours! Joel said this would be the longest meeting of our monthly meetings.
  • I redid the newsletter completely. Found some online templates and grabbed one that I thought would work and it seems to be a good choice.
  • It took a few hours, but I think it’s worth it. Once finished, I may upload it here in case you want to see it.
  • Erin will be spending one night a week with us it seems. Not sure why. Oh well, I like having her here, she’s my buddy.
  • I got a new MacBook Pro to replace my MacBook Air. They make the new pros lighter and thinner than my last one and the display is killer!
  • The Air was starting to lose connectivity in the USB plugs and would cause problems when doing downloads from cameras and the iDevices I have. I’ll have it fixed and keep it for travel and as a backup.
  • This new one is FAST! I got a stocker with 0 upgrades and it blows my Air away with the speed. Four years makes a lot of difference in performance.
  • Peace!

Just a joke!

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, “Wake up, wake up!”

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they’re eating the taco casserole I made tonight.”

“That’ll teach them!”  I replied.

Doctor

Went to the doctor yesterday afternoon. Nice place and the doctor seemed to be competent. I told him I dropped the statins and he was fine with that. He felt that Green may have been over-aggressive on them with me. We talked about Chicago and Detroit.

WEATHER

Day before yesterday the weatherliar was dead wrong again! We were supposed to get snow, enough snow that I prepared the plow for action. We got NOTHING again.

ERIN

We’ve had Erin for an extra day this week. They pick her up tomorrow. They needed her for Sunday for the great-grandma’s b’day. They’re a pain in the ass. Always late picking her up, promise one time and come whenever they feel like it.

MARYLOU

Yesterday was her birthday. I know I should know her age, but truthfully, I don’t give enough of a shit to remember. She’s 1 day older than the day before. She’s telling everyone that she’s 21 and appears confused when no one laughs. Ugliest 21 y.o. I’ve ever seen. New meds arrived today to temper her temper. I hope that it makes things easier for Nina.

MOTORCYCLE

I should be able to ride tomorrow. It’s supposed to be in the 60’s and beautiful out. Today was great riding weather too, but I was scheduled to heavy to bother. The weather is supposed to turn for the worse over the weekend.