Michael & Tori, one year! Congratulations you two.

https://youtu.be/j3ua3-vns_4

An attorney boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs. He asked the blonde stewardess on duty to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator.

He advised her he was holding her personally responsible for the seafood, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeding to rant about what would happen if she let them thaw in flight.

Needless to say, she was very annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise his hand?”

Not a single hand went up…so she took the box home and shared the seafood with her family.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folks think.

https://youtu.be/yZm8znUvLHA

If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
A Democrat demands that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it
If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a Republican is unhappy with an election, he grumbles and goes to work the next day.
If a Democrat is unhappy with an election, he burns down a Starbucks, throws rocks at cops and takes two-weeks off for therapy.

If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh
A Democrat will delete it because he’s “offended.”