Category Archives: B.S. & Political Ridicule
Sometimes my life is surreal
- I received a call from an FBI agent about the theft. Asking about products that are manufactured from outside of NM. It appears that interfering with interstate commerce is a very serious crime and they hope to add that to his charges. I guess pointing a gun at the head of a child is nothing.
- We caught a shoplifter yesterday. I went out and confronted him and he denied it, all the while trying to keep the stolen goods in his pants. It appears that he sustained a cut to his face that contaminated the products when he was questioned further. He and his girlfriend are now banned from the property. She doesn’t know it yet and she will be very upset about this turn of events in her life. She is a frequent shopper here, and now I think a shoplifter too.
the husband store
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
“You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch: You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!”
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband, and she looks at the signs as she goes up the floors.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: “Floor 1 – These men have jobs.”
The second floor sign reads: “Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.”
The third floor sign reads: “Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.”
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: “Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.”
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor, where the sign reads: “Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.”
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor anyway. There, the sign reads: “Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.”
MAN FINDS LOST DOG AFTER 12 DAYS USING OLD HUNTER’S TRICK
It had been 12 days since this dog owner had last seen his faithful friend. Running out of options, the owner continued to go back to the woods where his dog had disappeared.
It was there that he met a pair of hunters who gave hip a tip that saved the day.
The owner posted his story to the social media website Reddit under the username a_little_pixie.
On day 12 of searching for my dog in a heavily wooded area, distraught and hopeless, I ran into a couple of hunters. They said they lost the occasional dog on a hunt but always got them back.
What they told me has helped many dogs and families be reunited. I’ve given their advice out a few times in the last couple days, so I thought if reddit has any lost dogs out there, this could help:
The dog owner(s) should take an article of clothing that has been worn at least all day, the longer the better, so the lost dog can pick up the scent.
Bring the article of clothing to the location where the dog was last seen and leave it there. Also, if the dog has a crate & familiar toy, you can bring those too (unless location undesirable for crate). You might also want to leave a note requesting item(s) not to be moved.
Leave a bowl of water there too, as the dog probably hasn’t had access to any. Do not bring food as this could attract other animals that the dog might avoid.
Come back the next day, or check intermittently if possible. Hopefully the dog will be waiting there.
I was skeptical and doubted my dog would be able to detect an article of clothing if he didn’t hear me calling his name as loud as possible all day for 12 days. But I returned the next day and sure enough found him sitting there!
I hope this helps someone out there who’s missing a best friend. Good luck :)“
Pretty cool.
Well, I’m back in a Jeep.
Just picked up a 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee Overland. Damn it’s nice! I’ll post a pic later.
Navy made this for zero dollars! Pretty cool.
Why women are special
Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.” She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches.
Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.She then ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.She emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.
She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.
She put both near her bag.Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth…..
Husband called out,“I thought you were going to bed.”“I’m on my way,” she said.
She put some water into the dog’s dish, then made sure the doors were locked.She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, and had a brief conversation with one kid who is still up doing homework.In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day.Said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. about that time,Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.“I’m going to bed.”
And he did… without another thought.
Anything Extraordinary Here?
Share this to phenomenal women today… they’ ll love you for it!
Lord almighty. So damned stupid.
