Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time — pancakes, ice cream, candy– just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. “Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?” he asked.

Not really, Pake, it was boring. We didn’t see a single *******, queer, piece of $#!t, horse’s a$$, socialist left wing Obamalover, blind bastard, dip $#!t, Muslim camel humper or son of a bitch anywhere we went!”

We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn’t have any fun.

A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home.

“Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at University Of Arkansas that will teach our dog, Ole’ Blue how to talk!”

“That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Ole’ Blue in that program?”

“Just send him over here with $1,000” the young Arkie says “and I’ll get him in the course.”

So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out.

The boy calls home.

“So how’s Ole’ Blue doing son?” his Father asks.

“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says,”but you just won’t believe this — they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”

“Read!?” says his Father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?”

“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.”

The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem.

At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad.

She very quickly came up with a plan for him.So she has him shoot the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.”Where’s Ole’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”

“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home,Ole’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does”.

“Then Ole’ Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?”

The Father went white and exclaimed, “I hope you shot that dog before he talks to your Mother!”

“I sure did, Dad!”

“That’s my boy”

The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school in Fayetteville , he became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, and you already know what a liar his girlfriend turned out to be!

She died on Tuesday from injuries. I have no further info on services or memorials or anything about things like that. She was stuck by a car in Pecos which caused the injuries.

I have kept membership to this site very restricted because I don’t want spamming scum posting their shit here. That said, if you wish to join the site so you can respond to my posts, email me @ pr.glen.post@gmail.com and tell me why I should add you to the roster of members here.  It can be as simple as “Hey dumbass, I’m “Jim” and we’re friends in real life.” or I know “Fred” and he showed my your blog and I wish to respond to your stupidity or I’ll have sex with you if you add me as a member.

This post will disappear in a few days, so don’t procrastinate.

• Who cares. Time passes no matter your method of measuring it. You can’t stop it.
• Rain & snow today? I’m sick of winter already.
• I had Gary Dryzmala modify my tractor to accept my snow plow. He picked it up, did the work and delivered the part for installation. Thanks Gary.
• Obama, what a joke. All his bluster about this EO and making us safer was just more political noise with NO CHANGE AT ALL! What an asshole. Of course the right is making noise like he raped their children, and they’re going to fight tooth and nail to make him look like the asshole he is. I guess even politicians need a hobby.
• I got a new? car this past weekend. I made an even trade of my Jeep for a Grand Cherokee with half the miles and a much better ride. The Wrangler was beating my ass to dust and I had to make the change. Ordered a nav system for install and I’ll be ready to travel again once it’s installed. 2013 Jeep Wrangler trade for a 2013 Jeep Grand Cherokee. $300 taxes paid total and it was mine.
• Has everyone heard about our Governor? Her drunken escapades? Oh no, she may not be reelected! Who are the dems going to blame for the state’s failures once she’s gone? We all know that they won’t condemn one of their own.
• WE’RE # 50! WE’RE # 50! WE’RE # 50! WE’RE # 50! WE’RE # 50! WE’RE # 50! WE’RE # 50! It’s not a right or left problem, it’s a problem that goes far deeper than that.
• Politicians need to be treated like the bottom feeders that they are. Treat them like shit, show them no respect, and then maybe they’ll realize that they serve us, not the other way around.
• I wonder if I’d like living in Fiji.
• Nuke North Korea. I’m tired of hearing about that little puke Kim. He needs to die and if we can’t get to him alone, I’m fine with talking out the whole damn country.
• I bought my Powerball tickets, have you? $450M. I could live off of that money until Tori can figure out a way to kill me for the inheritance.
• Hey Mom, Rehobeth was on the news just now. I can’t tell you why, I wasn’t paying attention.
• Ted Cruz was born in Canada? Shit, I had no clue. He sounds just like a homegrown hate monger.
• He stands no chance, but I like Christie. He sounds like the voice of reason on the right. I hate both candidates on the left.
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• Did you enjoy the 3 memes? I did. Peace out peoples!

https://youtu.be/qgr2lj7jwr4