The first young man finished relieving himself, zipped up, strolled to the sinks and proceeded to wash his hands, using plenty of soap and water and doing a splendidly thorough job.

As he was drying his hands (with lots of paper towels), he loftily announced to no one in particular, “At Harvard, I learned to be clean and sanitary.”

The second young gent zipped up, marched briskly to the sinks, and scrubbed his hands with much less soap and water than the first man, doing a splendidly thorough job nonetheless.

As he was drying his hands (with only one paper towel), he severely announced to no one in particular, “At Yale, I learned to be clean and sanitary, but I ALSO learned to be thrifty and environmentally conscious.”

The elderly trucker finished relieving himself, zipped up, and ambled past the sinks to the door, muttering, “In kindergarten, I learned not to piss on my hands.”