Went to a new rider social last night at the dealership and I had a blast! There were other HOG members there to promote HOG to the new members and while we did gather together on occasion, the new riders were the focus of the evening.

While it looks like Karen and I were enjoying ourselves, it was toward the end of the evening and we both sat to “take a load off” after standing for several hours.

There were approximately 20 new riders in attendance and they seemed to enjoy the event that was geared to sway them to the purchase of a Harley. I’m sure that some of the group will indeed buy a bike of some sort.

I love when someone does this type of work. It shows great talent and patience!

A guy was in a bar about as drunk as it’s possible to get. A group of guys noticed his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home.

First they stood him up to get to his wallet so they could find out where he lives, but he kept falling down. He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud.

After they got to his house, he fell down another four times on the way to the door.

His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, “We brought your husband home.”

The wife asks, “Where’s his wheelchair?

And you can tell she’s been with them for longer. It’s like she’s hopped up on something, she just keeps running and talking. Yesterday she was running in circles around the living room with the puppy chasing her. I finally had to stop this and have her sit down to calm down both her and the pup.

ML

I’m stunned she’s still alive. She’s looking absolutely horrid. It seems that she she’s been having mini-strokes over  the past few months. We’ve told her of this and asked her if she wished to be taken to the hospital, but she says that she’d rather stay at home. When the strokes hit her, she’s disoriented and the left side of her face sags. She becomes hard to understand until the episode passes. She has a sensation of fainting during these episodes, but she doesn’t faint. After it passes, she remembers the conversations we have with her but feels like it’s a dream to her.

Just a guess at her weight, 70 to 80 pounds. I’m basing that on helping Nina put her to bed. I lift her off the floor and place her on the bed. Skin and bones. At times when I’m up and about early, I hear her praying for the Lord to take her. She’s not living the life she’s used to, but then she never wanted a family and now her circumstances have forced one on her. A nursing home would not suit her either. She tolerates them when we travel, but is relieved when we pick her up after the trip. She’s always afraid that we’ll just abandon her there. It is tempting, but we don’t.

One day a biker dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing  in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…
Satan:  “Why so glum?”
Biker : “What do you think? I’m in  hell!”
Satan: “Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun  down here. You a drinking man?”
Biker : “Sure, I love to  drink.”
Satan: “Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On  Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Bourbon, Scotch, rum, gin, tequila, wine, beer. All top shelf. We drink ’til we throw up and then  we drink some more! And you don’t have to worry about getting a  hangover, because you’re dead anyway.”
Biker : “Gee that  sounds great!”
Satan: “You a smoker?”
Biker : “You better  believe it.”
Satan: “All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get  the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out.  If you get cancer, no biggie, you’re already dead,  remember?”
Biker : “Wow…that’s awesome!”
Satan: “I bet you  like to gamble.”
Biker : “Why, yes, as a matter of fact I  do.”
Satan: “Good,’cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you  want.  Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you  go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.”
Biker  :  “Cool!”
Satan: “What about Drugs?”
Biker : “Are you  kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…?”
Satan: “That’s right!  Thursday is drug day.. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or  smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a cigar. You can do all the  drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.”
Biker : “Wow! I  never realized Hell was such a cool place!”
Satan: “You  gay?”
Biker : “No…”
Satan: “Ooooh, then Fridays are gonna be  tough…”

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? 
Juan on Juan 

What is a Yankee? 
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. 

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? 
The position of the dirt bag. 

Why is divorce so expensive? 
Because it’s worth it. 

Why is air a lot like sex? 
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any. 

What do you call a smart blonde? 
A golden retriever. 

What do attorneys use for birth control? 
Their personalities. 

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 
10 years and 45 lbs 

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 
45 minutes 

What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart? 
Through his chest with a sharp knife. 

Why do men want to marry virgins? 
They can’t stand criticism. 

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? 
Because those men already have boyfriends. 

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? 
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. 

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? 
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. 

What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW? 
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. 

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 
“Are you sure it’s mine?” 

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? 
Mace will do that to you. 

Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? 
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. 

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? 
A different pub. 

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? 
A speech impediment 

What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? 
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… “a recipe”. 

How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? 
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!