A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn’t panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it.” Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?”

• You’d think that after 5 days away, I’d have to play catch up on paperwork and repairs, but you’d be wrong. Tori and Nina did a great job of keeping things on track.
• The only repair I saw, that I will address, is a burnt out bulb under the deck. LED bulb replacement is in order. Should be done this morning.
• I got published in the Santa Fe New Mexican again. Just an opinion piece, but it feels good seeing it. Mine is the third letter down.
• Wow, just heard that the car companies need to reestablish confidence in the cars they already own. The last time I heard that line of shit was when it was reported that the US government was financing the advertising geared to do just that. Bend over everyone, it’s gonna happen again!
• Mom sent me this picture, along with a bunch of other political pics. I liked this one best.
• 
• Can you all tell I’m doing this while watching the news again? So much B.S. and no shovel could clean it up.
• Erin was fairly unimpressed by my return, but I guess that’s to be expected given her schedule. She was not here while I was gone. Just another weekend for her.
• It’s colder here than in Chicago. That’s just wrong! STOP IT!
• I have a cold. I’m getting tired of this. I will stop at Walgreens before dinner tonight and get the required meds to bomb this cold into submission. Take my advice, don’t do this yourself and if you do, don’t drive, or post on your computer, or try to stand while peeing. I will be normal again tomorrow!

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

The title says it all.

• But I’m not there! Still in Chicago until tomorrow.
• Went to church with Mom. The roof did not fall on me and shame on you for thinking that!
• I’ve had a nice visit, but I didn’t see the Kleywegs. The jerks went to Florida instead of visiting with me.
• Another reason to hate Florida. At least Don didn’t get any banket. THAT will teach him. Jerk.
• I fly out tomorrow at 10:40. I hope that it’s not the same plane. What a p.o.s.
• I did enjoy the stewardess though. Maybe she’ll be on the return trip. Funny lady with a high tolerance for my shit.
• I’ll actually be on my very first flight where I have a first class seat. I had first class seating once before, but the flight was cancelled and so was first class.
• Had Ledo’s Pizza twice so far. That may be it for this trip. Don’t worry Nina, I’ll survive.
• Bears are playing today. I guess they’re doing poorly, so much so that they mentioned them in church this morning. I wonder if all the Chicago churches did the same and I’m curious if it works.
• Seems kinda improper to do that to me, but I’m a heathen, what do I know.
• Just finished some Dutch soup. Nina, why don’t you make us Dutch soup? It’s very good ya know.
• Even with all the building noises, it’s very quiet here.
• Is ML still alive?
• Nina does make Dutch soup for me, I was just kidding.

Busy day yesterday. Breakfast at J. C. George’s was a long drawn out affair. It appeared that they were shorthanded and a large construction crew showed up for a breakfast meeting to add to their woes. Afterwards I went to Ed’s used car lot to teach him how to work his new website. Blue Arrow Motors now has a fully functioning website.

Lunch with Carl at Red Robin. Dinner with Ed at Capri in Plainfield and in bed my 9:00. So much excitement!

• After an hour and fifteen minute delay, we were finally able to lift off and I arrived in Chicago’s O’hare airport at 5:15.
• Glenn & Mom picked me up there once I landed.
• Saw Ed and borrowed his truck.
• Went out for lunch with Nan. 3 hours of lunch.
• I enjoy seeing Nan.
• Napped.
• Dinner with Mom at P.F. Changs.
• Some TV and then I’m off to bed.

• I leave today to visit mom, the source of many of the jokes that you see in this blog. Funny is funny no matter where it’s from.
• This trip is different, I’m flying. Why you may ask? It’s my ass. Driving for long distances is starting to hurt my ass. 18 hours of driving vs. 3 hours of sitting on a plane? Guess what won this time!
• Air miles made it an easy decision. Everyone else has been using my miles, so I figured it’s my turn. Tori, Erin, and Nina flew on my miles to Disney last week, I’ll finish them off on this trip.
• My Citibank card gives me miles for using it and we use it at Sam’s Club to build miles fast. $1000 to $2000 per week has that shit piling up quickly.
• Twice this weekend I had conversations about how poorly the president is being treated. I kill the chats with a reminder of the left’s treatment of Bush v.2 and the names he was called by them. But with Obama it’s racism, but with Bush it was just hatred. Assholes.
• It looks like we’re gonna lose another good employee. The welfare people told her she needed to quit us and find a real job. I may find that person and place her on the injured reserve list at the welfare office.
• I got the iPhone 6 plus. It’s big, but I can read my books on it almost as easily as on my iPad. Lots of cool new features and I’m looking forward to activating the Apple Pay feature on it.
• We’re going to start taking Apple Pay here in the store soon too. It’s a win/win upgrade to our services. It’s the future.
• Andy and Debra are doing well.
• Tori and Michael seem to be doing well too.
• Everyone enjoying the cold? All our customers are bitching about how cold it is here. Sissies!

There are two excellent theories for arguing with women.
Neither one works.