And you can tell she’s been with them for longer. It’s like she’s hopped up on something, she just keeps running and talking. Yesterday she was running in circles around the living room with the puppy chasing her. I finally had to stop this and have her sit down to calm down both her and the pup.

ML

I’m stunned she’s still alive. She’s looking absolutely horrid. It seems that she she’s been having mini-strokes over  the past few months. We’ve told her of this and asked her if she wished to be taken to the hospital, but she says that she’d rather stay at home. When the strokes hit her, she’s disoriented and the left side of her face sags. She becomes hard to understand until the episode passes. She has a sensation of fainting during these episodes, but she doesn’t faint. After it passes, she remembers the conversations we have with her but feels like it’s a dream to her.

Just a guess at her weight, 70 to 80 pounds. I’m basing that on helping Nina put her to bed. I lift her off the floor and place her on the bed. Skin and bones. At times when I’m up and about early, I hear her praying for the Lord to take her. She’s not living the life she’s used to, but then she never wanted a family and now her circumstances have forced one on her. A nursing home would not suit her either. She tolerates them when we travel, but is relieved when we pick her up after the trip. She’s always afraid that we’ll just abandon her there. It is tempting, but we don’t.

One day a biker dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing  in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…
Satan:  “Why so glum?”
Biker : “What do you think? I’m in  hell!”
Satan: “Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun  down here. You a drinking man?”
Biker : “Sure, I love to  drink.”
Satan: “Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On  Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Bourbon, Scotch, rum, gin, tequila, wine, beer. All top shelf. We drink ’til we throw up and then  we drink some more! And you don’t have to worry about getting a  hangover, because you’re dead anyway.”
Biker : “Gee that  sounds great!”
Satan: “You a smoker?”
Biker : “You better  believe it.”
Satan: “All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get  the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out.  If you get cancer, no biggie, you’re already dead,  remember?”
Biker : “Wow…that’s awesome!”
Satan: “I bet you  like to gamble.”
Biker : “Why, yes, as a matter of fact I  do.”
Satan: “Good,’cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you  want.  Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you  go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.”
Biker  :  “Cool!”
Satan: “What about Drugs?”
Biker : “Are you  kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…?”
Satan: “That’s right!  Thursday is drug day.. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or  smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a cigar. You can do all the  drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.”
Biker : “Wow! I  never realized Hell was such a cool place!”
Satan: “You  gay?”
Biker : “No…”
Satan: “Ooooh, then Fridays are gonna be  tough…”

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? 
Juan on Juan 

What is a Yankee? 
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. 

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? 
The position of the dirt bag. 

Why is divorce so expensive? 
Because it’s worth it. 

Why is air a lot like sex? 
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any. 

What do you call a smart blonde? 
A golden retriever. 

What do attorneys use for birth control? 
Their personalities. 

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 
10 years and 45 lbs 

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 
45 minutes 

What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart? 
Through his chest with a sharp knife. 

Why do men want to marry virgins? 
They can’t stand criticism. 

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? 
Because those men already have boyfriends. 

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? 
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. 

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? 
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. 

What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW? 
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. 

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 
“Are you sure it’s mine?” 

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? 
Mace will do that to you. 

Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? 
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. 

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? 
A different pub. 

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? 
A speech impediment 

What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? 
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… “a recipe”. 

How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? 
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Yeah, she won’t ride with me today. I’m riding with the HOG chapter to Rudy’s BBQ in Albuquerque for lunch and a chapter meeting. Neither of us a big fans of BBQ the way it’s been done in Alb. but I want to ride.

We did the camera phone class yesterday and other than learning of some new apps that we can use to take and manipulate pictures. The instructor is an interesting guy and I hope that Debby can rope him into more events at the dealership and and I’d like to get him on some of our rides.

Before the class, there was a board meeting that covered the HOT review from the board members. We’re hoping to increase membership and offer different rides.

ERIN

Erin returns tomorrow morning. I’m not sure why they got to keep her for as long as they did, but I look forward to seeing her tomorrow.

With Erin gone, Nina was able to do a record amount of housework AND she was even able to relax a bit. Erin is very demanding of Nina’s time when she’s here.

I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old sow came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt.

She said, “Hey sexy, how about giving me your number.” I looked at her and said, ”Have you got a pen.” She said, “I sure do.”

I said, “ Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you’re missing.”

My dental surgery is on Monday.

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door.

We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to
eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the
house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, ‘He’s just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother. A few minutes later, I get into the cab. ‘Sorry I took so long. I said, as we drove away. ‘That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!

The cab driver hit a parked car.

While I don’t believe in the “don’t stay in school” theme of this vid, there’s far too many truths stated in it. Watch it and decide for yourself.