I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old sow came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt.

She said, “Hey sexy, how about giving me your number.” I looked at her and said, ”Have you got a pen.” She said, “I sure do.”

I said, “ Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you’re missing.”

My dental surgery is on Monday.