We leave. Stay tuned for pictures and other shit about the trip.

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time — pancakes, ice cream, candy– just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. “Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?” he asked.

Not really, Pake, it was boring. We didn’t see a single *******, queer, piece of $#!t, horse’s a$$, socialist left wing Obamalover, blind bastard, dip $#!t, Muslim camel humper or son of a bitch anywhere we went!”

We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn’t have any fun.

A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home.

“Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at University Of Arkansas that will teach our dog, Ole’ Blue how to talk!”

“That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Ole’ Blue in that program?”

“Just send him over here with $1,000” the young Arkie says “and I’ll get him in the course.”

So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out.

The boy calls home.

“So how’s Ole’ Blue doing son?” his Father asks.

“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says,”but you just won’t believe this — they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”

“Read!?” says his Father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?”

“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.”

The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem.

At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad.

She very quickly came up with a plan for him.So she has him shoot the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.”Where’s Ole’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”

“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home,Ole’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does”.

“Then Ole’ Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?”

The Father went white and exclaimed, “I hope you shot that dog before he talks to your Mother!”

“I sure did, Dad!”

“That’s my boy”

The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school in Fayetteville , he became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, and you already know what a liar his girlfriend turned out to be!

She died on Tuesday from injuries. I have no further info on services or memorials or anything about things like that. She was stuck by a car in Pecos which caused the injuries.