B.S. & Political Ridicule

Everyone over 50 was homeschooled. (from Archie!)

*Most of our generation 50+ was HOME SCHOOLED in so many ways.*

*1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .*
*”If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning.”*

*2. My mother taught me RELIGION.*
*”You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”*

*3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.*
*”If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”*

*4. My father taught me LOGIC.*
*” Because I said so, that’s why.”*

*5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .*
*”If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”*

*6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.*
*”Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”*

*7. My father taught me IRONY.*
*”Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”*

*8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .*
*”Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”*

*9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.*
*”Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?”*

*10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.*
*”You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”*

*11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.*
*”This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”*

*12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.*
*”If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate!”*

*13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.*
*”I brought you into this world, and I can take you out…”*

*14. My mother taught me about*
*BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .”Stop acting like your father!”*

*15. My mother taught me about ENVY.*
*”There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t
have wonderful parents like you do.”*

*16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.*
*”Just wait until we get home.”*

*17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.*
*”You are going to get it from your father when he gets home!”*

*18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.*
*”If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”*

*19. My mother taught me ESP.*
*”Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”*

*20. My father taught me HUMOR.*
*”When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”*

*21. My mother taught me*
*HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .”If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”*

*22. My mother taught me GENETICS.*
*”You’re just like your father.”*

*23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.*
*”Shut that door behind you, do you think you were born in a barn?”*

*24. My mother taught me WISDOM.*
*”When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.*

*25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .*
*”One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”*