I was Santa @ Harley yesterday. It was a traumatic experience for some kids. One kid thrashed about so much while I was holding him that his diaper and pants fell off, All the employees were laughing their asses off, thinking that I cared that I was holding a kid that was naked from the waist down, but I am a parent and grandparent and this wasn’t my first rodeo. It’s when the kid started pissing that I showed my true experience, I pointed him at his mother and he peed on her leg. A true iPhone experience for the mother. Thank God the beard covered my face. I’m going to claim it was Herbie that played Santa.
We had so few kids that after 3 hours I was told I could stop. I’m still pulling white plastic hair from between my teeth. Crappy costume was hotter than hell and fit like shit, but I managed to pull it off.
One of the pictures made it to FB before I even had the crappy beard off, Tori, and that asshole Johnson had to comment on it. I may be fat, but he’s bald and old looking and I can always loose weigh. . . . who am I kidding, I’ll be fat till I die & I still look better than that pecker.
I did drive a Ultra off the floor and through the front doors while it was slow and I cruised around waving at cars and kids in the playground. Two of the salesgirls helped me steal the bike. I was told if I don’t bring it back I’ll have to pay for it.
I tried out a Sportster too, but that never made it out of the parking lot.
Banking today.
Erin’s back.
Erin and Nina wrapped a present for Erin’s doll, Cindy, and she wasn’t allowed to see what Erin bought her. If Cindy reads this blog, ERIN BOUGHT YOU A BED AND A PILLOW!
There may be some slight exaggeration to some of the above. This is my blog and I can lie if I want to. I did not lie about Johnson being an asshole though.
I am a husband, father, grandfather, friend, business owner, traveller, Harley rider, citizen, patriot, gun owner, politically eclectic person of strange personal habits. I support police, trust no politicians, and can argue any side of an argument just to amuse myself. People love me or hate me and those that are in-between don't know me.
