8:00 am: I made a snowman.
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8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
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8:15 – So, I made a snow woman.
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8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
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8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
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8:22 – The transgender man..women…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
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8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
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8:28 – I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
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8:31 – The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
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8:40 – The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
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8:42 – The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
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8:43 – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
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8:45 – TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
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9:00 – I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
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9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
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9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge, A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. I KNOW SOME PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.  I KNOW SOME PEOPLE LIKE THAT TOO.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand and “lollipop” with your right.

The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The sentence:  “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to justify or right to left (palindromes).

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: “abstemious” and “facetious.”

There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach must produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

There, now you do know everything!

Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams’ plan…(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace, but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here’s my plan:

The US will apologize to the world for our “interference” in the affairs of other countries, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those ‘good ole boys.’ We will never “interfere” again.

We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don’t want us there anyway. We would station troops at our borders and allow no one to sneak through holes in the fence.

We will allow all illegal aliens 90 days to get their affairs together and leave this country and will give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. I’m sure France would welcome them.

All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days, unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself and don’t hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

No “students” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a “D” and it’s back home, baby.

Energy wise, the US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not “interfere.” They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement, or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army . The people who need it most get little or nothing.

Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us “Ugly Americans” any longer.

The Language we speak is ENGLISH…..learn it…or LEAVE…

Now, ain’t that a winner of a plan.

“The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying ‘Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.” She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘You want a piece of me?'” –

If you agree with the above forward it to your friends