Man Shocks His Wife By Screaming At Her In The Kitchen. Then He Says This.

A women is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in…

Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. “Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!”

The wife, startled at her husband’s violent reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter.

“You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!”

The wife, concerned by the status of her husband’s mental state, forgets about the butter and goes running to the eggs.

“WE NEED BUTTER! Are you CRAZY??? Where are we going to get the butter? They’re going to stick! HURRY!”

The wife runs to the fri-

“CAREFUL about the eggs! CAREFUL. You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them quickly! Oh not that quickly, don’t you know how to cook? Are you insane? Turn the DAMN EGGS!”

At this point, the wife starts crying, since she has no idea what to do.

She gasps “What is WRONG with you? I know how to cook eggs.”

The husband simply smiles, remarks “I just wanted to show you what it feels like while I’m driving with you in the car”, and leaves.

Saturday Ride & Dinner

  • Rode to Mountainair with the group today for lunch. We had a nice ride and lunch at the Ancient Cities Cafe.
  • I managed to roll over the 19,000 mile mark on the bike during the trip home and parked it with 19,028 miles on it.
  • Saw some interesting things while riding and can’t wait for Nina to make the same trip with me later this year.
  • Had dinner with Jamie and Jenny also. Haven’t seen her in a few years and we had a nice time with them. They had Jasmine, their granddaughter with too. Cute kid, but she’s no Erin.
  • Still sleeping like crap.

Irish Nuns

nuns

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

“Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks.

Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, “I don’t think they know who we are; show them your cross.”

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, “Piss off, ya fookin’ little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!”

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, “Did that sound cross enough?

An open letter to congress from Charlie Daniels.

Country music star Charlie Daniels blasted Congress in the following 840-word open letter on Facebook:

An Open Letter to Congress – Charlie’s Soapbox 8/24/15

I am a proud American who believes that America has held – and still holds – a very sensitive and special place in the affairs of mankind on Planet Earth. I believe that America has been divinely blessed and protected in our two centuries plus of existence.

I believe that America has been a counter balance that has cancelled out a lot of tyranny, evil and conquest and, admittedly, we have made a lot of mistakes, but on balance we have exerted a certain Pax Americana in the international affairs of mankind.

It took a lot of old fashioned guts for the Continental Congress to stand up to the world’s mightiest military and tell them that we demanded our independence, even at the peril of going up against a far superior force on land and sea with a ragtag army of untrained citizens, many who had to supply their own firearms.

It took courage above and beyond for Abraham Lincoln to push the country into a Civil War that he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt would divide this nation for decades.

It took guts to give the order for American troops to storm the beaches of Normandy on D-Day, straight into the face of artillery and machine gunfire, wave after wave being cut to ribbons by German shore emplacements.

The history of this nation is written in the blood and courage of men who stood in the face of overwhelming odds, politicians, soldiers, statesmen and ordinary citizens who sought to do the right thing regardless of the cost or the consequences.

Well, ladies and gentlemen of the United States Congress, it seems that that particular pen has run out of ink. The courageous politicians that once championed this nation have been replaced, for the most part, by a breed of milksop, politically correct, scared of their own shadow, pushover, pathetic excuses for public servants who are supposed to be representing a constituency of citizens who have to live with the circumstances of their timid folly.

You don’t even have the courage to face down an out of control president, even when he makes a deal with the devil. Don’t you bunch of timid capons even care what kind of world you’re leaving to your children and grandchildren, not to even mention the rest of us? Are you really party partisans before you’re parents and grandparents or even human beings?

Be honest with yourselves a minute, go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and ask the person you see this question.

“Do I really believe that Iran will not use the money we’re releasing to them to finance terrorists to kill Americans, and, when, not if, but when, the Iranians develop their nuclear device, will they really use it against America and Israel?”

You can’t hide from the truthful answer to that question forever, an answer will be required of you one day.

You have allowed Obama to tilt the Supreme Court so far to the left that they’re little more than a shameful extension of the Executive Branch.

You have talked for decades about the porous southern border but have done absolutely nothing about it.

You have allowed cities in this nation to declare themselves sanctuary cities where they protect the worst of the worst criminal aliens, American citizens paying an awful price for your silence.

You watch an impossible National Debt balloon completely out of control knowing full well that a day of reckoning is coming that will seriously curtail the quality of life for coming generations.

You allow corrupt government agencies like the IRS to run over the very people you are sworn to protect and allow the entitlement society to expand exponentially while you actually entertain the idea of raising taxes on those who still work and shoulder the burden.

You compose a third of the constitutionally mandated ruling system and you shirk your duty
and allow this nation to move a little closer to the edge every day.

I wish you bunch of sold-out, jaded, burned-out hacks would just go home and let some people who still have some vision and whose consciences haven’t been seared past the point of reminding them when they’re wrong take over and start to claw this nation back on to the path of sanity,

Your ratings are in the single digits, your morals are in the gutter, your minds are on self-preservation and somewhere along the way you traded your honor for political expediency.

You’ve violated your oaths, you’ve betrayed your country you’ve feathered your nests and you’ve sat on your hands while an imperial president has rubbed your noses in the dirt time after time.

You’re no longer men, you’re puppets, you’re caricatures, jokes, a gaggle of fading prostitutes for sale to anybody who can do you a political favor.

“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

What do you think?

Pray for our troops and the peace of Jerusalem.

God Bless America

Charlie Daniels

GOT MY CONCEALED GUN PERMIT YESTERDAY

GOT MY CONCEALED GUN PERMIT YESTERDAY

….and went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm for protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!!

I’ve been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer. I still don’t think I looked that bad.

THE NEW AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE – GET ON BOARD

For a guy and his girlfriend with two kids all you have to do is follow these proven steps:

  1. Don’t marry her!
  1. Always use your mom’s address to get your mail.
  1. The guy buys a house.
  1. The guy rents out house to his girlfriend with his 2 kids.
  1. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for a 3 bedroom home.
  1. Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn’t have to pay for family insurance.
  1. Girlfriend gets to go to college for free being a single mother
  1. Girlfriend gets $600 a month for food stamps.
  1. Girlfriend gets a free cell phone.
  1. Girlfriend get free utilities.
  1. Guy moves into home, but continues to use moms address for his mail.
  1. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims the other kid on their tax forms. Now both get to claim head of household at $1800 credit.
  1. Girlfriend gets $1,800 a month disability for being “crazy” or having a “bad back” and never has to work again.

This plan is perfectly legal   and is being executed now by millions of people.

A  married couple with a stay at home mom yields $0 dollars.

An  unmarried couple with stay at home mom nets $21,600 disability + $10,800 free housing + $6,000 free Obamacare + $6,000 free food + $4,800 free utilities + $6,000 Pell Grant money to spend + $12,000 a year in college tuition free from Pell Grant + $8,800 tax benefit for being a single mother = $75,000 a year in benefits!

Any idea why the country is $18 trillion plus in debt and half the population is sitting on their ass letting the other half pay their way???