Stolen directly from Facebook. Too good not to.

THE WINDY CITY TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART

60° F: Arizonans shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still sunbathing.

50° F: Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens.

40° F: Italian sports cars won’t start; people in Chicago drive with the windows down.

32° F: Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker.

20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats; people in Chicago throw on a light jacket.

15° F: People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0° F: All the people in Phoenix die. Chicagoans close the windows.

10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.

25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates; people in Chicago get out their winter coats.

40° below zero: Washington, DC runs out of hot air; people in Chicago let the dogs sleep indoors.

100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can’t start ‘da car.’

460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale); people in Chicago start saying, ‘cold ’nuff for ya?’

500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Cubs win the World Series.

• A new wrinkle in my life. Yesterday was hectic.
• Crazed almost.
• I put over 300 miles on the Jeep yesterday.
• Santa Fe once. Las Vegas twice.
• I repaired the on screen lighting on the pumps.
• It took eight 7 watt  fluorescent bulbs to fix.
• I thought it was a hard fix but it was easy.
• Very easy. Time consuming though.
• Well, all our pumps are now 100% again.
• I found out that the Illfeld store closed on the last day of 2013.
• That s.o.b. told me that he was going to drive me out of business.
• HA! Moron!
• He thought he had inside info that would make his place a win.
• He lost!
• Yeah, I’m enjoying his closing.
• He was forced to close because he didn’t do the pump upgrades.
• I did the upgrades. I knew they were coming and saved to do it.
• It appears that he had an inside person with the enviro dept.
• I talked to the people in the state office about me.
• Maybe he came up in the conversation. Maybe not.
• Two down. One to go.
• Muwahahah.

I pretend to like people everyday. It’s called being an adult. That’s why we’re allowed to buy booze.