I know that global climate change will treat us better this month. I mean how heartless could global climate change be? I always thought that the crappy weather we’ve been experiencing was cyclic, but those damned liberals have convinced me that global climate change, not to be confused with global warming, is our fault. It’s pretty obvious to me now, we as a species suck the big one for what we are causing on this planet. Not just our planet, but the United States in particular. WE REALLY SUCK. China and South America, major polluters in my mind, are guiltless because they’re such backward nations, but the U.S. of A. is a tech-giant and we should solve these problems for the world.

But I’m ranting. I tend to rant when I have time to think. I tend to think when I drive long distances. It’s better when I don’t think and just say Happy February Everyone!

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

Except for this guy, it was very warm.

We made it by 4:30.

We spent the night in Great Bend KS in a nice best western. We’re about 11 hours away from Mom’s, so I’m guessing on getting there around 4 or 5 this afternoon, weather permitting.

Well, we’ve done about 500 miles so far, leaving us with about 750 miles to go.

The day started at Charlie’s Spic and Span with a breakfast meeting with the branding people.  Kudos for all of us that went on the radio yesterday. It was nice to hear. I left the meeting to leave at 9:30, an hour after the meeting started.

Taking backroads again. It’s fun seeing rural America, even though I live in part of rural America. No pictures from this trip so far.

Good night all.

I get all the “rejected from the register” or “customer refused to take this” type of money at the end of the day. This is just a small sampling of what I get daily. Funny thing, it spends just fine.

MAN RULES

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN FINALLY.

WE ALWAYS HEAR ‘THE RULES’ FROM THE FEMALE SIDE NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT’S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

• SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
• STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
• OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
• JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON’T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE…

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY ‘NOTHING,’ WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE…REALLY.

1.. DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING…

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN – TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH…

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN – TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

I go on the radio this morning. I meet at the station with Adam, our branding guru, and someone else to answer questions about our efforts to brand the county and city as one entity for tourism. This should last for about 45 minutes.

Yesterday’s efforts made me sick. Hiking all over the campus in 17° weather, climbing over 100 steps had me thinking I was going to have a heart attack. By the middle of the afternoon I lost most of my voice and that would not work for today’s radio show, so I canceled my presence at the forum last night.

I’ll let you know how the radio thing went later today.

EDIT: Time for this to start is around 9:00 a.m.

Edit Again: The radio interview went well, even though they started before I got there. I was listening to the station while I was driving in and all of a sudden they announce they might as well start early! HUH! Come on, this is NM, we always start shit late, or better yet on time. NOOOO, they start early! That is not how things are done in NM, at least since I moved here!

Nina just pointed out that my sleeping problems started when that s.o.b. stole my ATM. She said that I awaken about the same time that the ATM was stolen that night. It was like a light was turned on.  Can it be this simple?