Wow! I just left the gas station. I was walking up to the store to pay for my gas when I saw these two cops looking at a woman smoking while pumping gas. What?? Look at this fool. What an idiot . And the police right there too?! So I go in and grab a bottle of coke n some cupcakes and while I was checking out I hear someone screaming. I look outside and that woman’s arm was on fire! She was freaking out! She was tossing & waving her arm around & just going crazy! I ran outside to help but the cops had already put her on the ground & were putting the fire out with an extinguisher. I went back in to get my stuff & as I’m walking by, the cops started to put handcuffs on her & put her in the cop car. I’m like what in the world is really going on?! So me being the concerned citizen that I am (aka nosey) , I asked the cops what they were arresting her for; already figuring that catching her arm on fire was punishment enough . Nope! One cop looked dead at me & said “for waving a fire arm”! Have a good day!

A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day, she asked Jimmy what his problem was. He replied, “I’m too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the fourth grade, and I’m smarter than her too.”

The teacher took him to the principal’s office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her that he would give Jimmy a test. If he failed to answer one question, then he would have to go back to the second grade and be quiet. The teacher and Jimmy both agreed.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”

Jimmy: “9.”

Principal: “6 x 6?”

Jimmy: “36.”

And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a fourth grader should know. Finally, after about an hour, he told the teacher “I see no reason why Jimmy can’t go to the fourth grade, he answered all of my questions right.”

The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Jimmy agree.

Teacher: “What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?”

Jimmy: “Legs”

Teacher: “What do you have in your pants that I don’t have?”

The principal gasps but before he can stop him from answerin gJimmy says, “Pockets.”

Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”

Jimmy: “Pants.”

Teacher: “What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?”

Jimmy: “Firetruck.”

The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says “Put Jimmy in the fourth grade. I got the last 4 questions wrong myself.”