An 85 year old man had to take a sperm count for a physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the 85-year-old man
reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. “Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?” The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.

Erin spent the night and she kicked (literally) me out of bed at 2 a.m. I have no idea what time she crawled in with us, but I felt the foot in the middle of my back at 1:30 or so and I knew I was screwed. I gave up the fight after 30 minutes.

Old Fartz today. Not sure if I’m going or if I’m taking the bike or the Jeep. It’ll all depend on how the weather looks around 11:00. The weatherliar is promising rain with our area being placed under flood watch.

Just heard on the news that D.C. is slowly sinking into the “sea”. The news parrots word, not mine. I don’t recall that D.C. was located on a sea. Either way, I wish I could accelerate the sinking. Current estimate of it disappearing is 2100 something.

I have the H.O.G. newsletter almost finish, just waiting on some dealership stuff and Racheline has promised it today sometime. She’s become vital to the store and with David and Debby semi-MIA, she’s almost running the place.

If I don’t get the dealership stuff, I’ll put pictures of the Rough Rider Rally in the spot reserved for them. I’ll be emailing the newsletter out late this evening. I’ve already started September’s version.

Just over 2 weeks until I leave. Can’t wait, I need a break. Taking the bike if weather permits, but I may take it even if it doesn’t permit.

Just cleaned the fish tank. I think I may have lost a fish, but it was hard to tell because of decomposition of whatever was on the bottom. At first I thought it was the big fat Tiger Barb, but I was wrong. I kinda bought the tank and fish for Erin, but she lost interest quickly. I should have known better, but since I always liked having an aquarium, I was an easy sell.

• Some customer posts on FB that my ATM stole $300 from her and her friends are all piling on.
• Dealing with insurance and the petroleum equipment company via phone and email.
• I was offered a job today. I’ll be an instructor. There will be 15 days of very intensive training, all paid for by my new employer. No idea where the training will be. Last time I was told it was in Texas and the time before in Arizona, and this is the first phase of training, 10 days. The second phase is in Milwaukee and that’s for 5 days. I plan accepting when I return from MI.
• Tori’s Jeep needs a new transmission.
• Erin is spending the night. She farts.
• This can’t end soon enough.